I am going to do with attitude. The attitude to change for the better. Can eccentrics change? You find love and people, family come out of the woodworks. Yes, I wanted a family. Who wouldn't but between the devil and the deep blue sea, sometimes we just can't have our cake and eat it.

I m sleepless again. I just couldn't quite understand how people stop caring and loving after they have pledged their hearts. I don't know if i was sadder that night at the restaurant or that night mark and i went drinking at Wala wala. I had such a crippling sense of lost. It was almost someone had cut my arms off. I felt lost. I wanted to say don't leave me behind. I thought i saw a train leaving.