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Friday, January 13, 2006
Happy Cousins & the Lesson of Grace
Finally, the weekend break gave me the time to do what my heart had been longing to do. To take the drive over to Segamat, which my dear little cousins would be. Hong, Mei and Huan have been such wonderful children. I have been pining to see them so the drive which took slightly under three hours with mom was very emotional. It was the first day of school and Hong, my favourite because of his acute sensibility was attending his secondary one orientation. Can you believe that it has been over eleven years? They grow up so so quickly. Being the kindest and most generous middle child I have seen, Hong has won my heart, hook, line and stinker. Nor only does he not mind never being the focus of his mother's affections, he constantly displays an admirable spirit in caring and sharing for his elder brother and younger sister. Never contentious nor convetous, his tender devotion and selfless nature for his younger sister has moved me to tears on many occasions.
I had planned to bring them to the salon for haircut after lunch and probably go bowling but it was little ambitious. Instead Huan played games while Mei and I had our her hair cut.
It was really nice meeting Hong. Before dinner, we had a game of Othello. Most children and most adults sulk when they lose a game so Hong's grace and humility was very endearing. What is astounding is the kind of fights Hong and I tend to get into. The first of which must have been at Toy R Us. While most children would love shopping for toys at Toy R Us, Hong as usual, would not hear of picking any gifts from himself knowing I have been spending a fortune on them. In the end, Cedric and I had to trick him into agreeing a gift which he relentantly accepted. Indeed, it is this has been the consistent issue between us.
When I first bought him a basketball, it pained me that he did not own a pair of sports shoes. As usual, he was against the idea of buying new shoes and insisted on not buying one. In fact, he got so upset by my insistence that he almost left the shop sulking and feeling bad about my having to spend money on him.
Thursday, January 12, 2006
I am going to do with attitude. The attitude to change for the better. Can eccentrics change? You find love and people, family come out of the woodworks. Yes, I wanted a family. Who wouldn't but between the devil and the deep blue sea, sometimes we just can't have our cake and eat it.
I m sleepless again. I just couldn't quite understand how people stop caring and loving after they have pledged their hearts. I don't know if i was sadder that night at the restaurant or that night mark and i went drinking at Wala wala. I had such a crippling sense of lost. It was almost someone had cut my arms off. I felt lost. I wanted to say don't leave me behind. I thought i saw a train leaving.
I m sleepless again. I just couldn't quite understand how people stop caring and loving after they have pledged their hearts. I don't know if i was sadder that night at the restaurant or that night mark and i went drinking at Wala wala. I had such a crippling sense of lost. It was almost someone had cut my arms off. I felt lost. I wanted to say don't leave me behind. I thought i saw a train leaving.
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